I couldn't remember holding someone's hands tighter than I did at that moment. [130321]
There was this one time when I felt like the world suddenly started to revolve around me when people's attentions were drawn to me. I couldn't digest what was exactly happening as I was still feeling awful knowing that I had failed to obtain 9A's for SPM. It wasn't like I was expecting to get it. Um okay I was expecting, but hey pardon my nature for aiming nothing but the best, despite my taking things for granted and lacking of effort during SPM. Though I knew better than anyone else that I didn't really deserve it, I was actually utterly disappointed with myself and I couldn't help but envying Madihah and Putri because both of them had successfully gotten themselves straight A's.
The disadvantage of being surrounded by geniuses. You'll always be at the bottom lol jk.
Right after the last person's name was announced as a straight A's' scorer, I abruptly threw myself in Madi's arms and sobbed hard. Madi was still so calm and composed even after getting her result I mean I could imagine being in her shoes and losing my sanity for let's say 5 minutes because possibly-overjoyed. This is why I idolise Madi. This is exactly why everyone loves her.
"Fatihah, nama awak!"
I was then brought back into reality and that was when I realised the reason why everyone was looking at me was because my name was announced by Puan... alamak I forgot her name :| ish! It was nice and thoughtful of them to decide to also announce the names of people who were only a B away from straight A's. My name was the last to be called, anyway, and yea I didn't hear it over my sobbing. I remember walking towards pengetua and this one guy maybe from PIBG or something, with my puffy eyes, swollen face, a red nose and wow my ruined tudung, in front of the crowds. Like seriously how did I manage?
I didn't bother to check the paper in my hand at that moment. What I knew I had to do was to find my parents in the crowd and to say sorry to them for failing to make them proud. After all the wailing in Ibu's arms... pulak, I took a deep breath and tried to keep myself rational. I was now scanning my result and then I kinda lost my mind again and suddenly shouted to Ibu (shamelessly)
"Ya Allah, Ibu banyaknya A+ Fatihah!"
I thought my result was a joke.
Maybe I screwed up Chemistry and ended up getting a B+ for it because during the 9-day break while SPM was still ongoing, something happened (more like shock of a lifetime I already posted about this some time ago) and I kinda had issues in controlling my emotions hahahahahaha our fault to be honest. But the other party lek je dapat A jugak untuk Chemistry haih. Oops.
At the end of the day, I was ecstatic to know that all of my close friends had managed to get excellent results, too. And alhamdulillah my mission to get that 1A thing printed on my result was a success. I wish I wasn't born a pessimist because I can't stop thinking that all of these A+ are useless. Hm betul lah kan?
(of 11 years, 21A's and a B)
