I got home late last night. I was mentally and physically exhausted when I reached home, but that didn't stop me from contemplating about the decisions I've been making while I was away from home. Being home, I feel like I am given bonus time to think about stuff other than my studies. And when I realise how I've been living in denial for the past few weeks; in denial of my own feelings, despair started rushing in. Who would have thought I would spend my first night at home crying myself to sleep? I started to realise how some people have stopped trying to keep me in their lives. Like, I could try threatening to leave, but nobody would try to stop me from leaving. The thought of it chokes me up. Sure I could try talking about it to my friends, to vent out and stuff, but I bet all I'll get is I gotta understand that when people grow up, they've got a lot more important stuff to worry about. Hey, am I not important enough to the people who are important to me? Have I been thinking of them falsely all this while? I thought we should care about those who matter? Heh, I guess life does this to people. That once they've got you, they'll stop trying to get you... to stay? Or something like that, because they know you can't live without them, and that even if you try to leave, you'll come back to them. Man I really wish to prove them wrong and one day let them see that I am capable of leaving, forgetting, and never looking back.